I am driving home from Omaha in a weekend spent with my mom and my sister. Just so everyone knows I am not texting or typing it on my phone I am dictating it.
My mind has been wandering lately about my life and what it has become. Let's list the facts: one I am married, two I have a job, Three I am a Christian. Every year I evaluate my life and see how it has changed over the year. I must be coming close to my birthday because my mind has started to do this already.
This year has had some positive & negative. I have discovered that I am a pregnancy charm for anyone that is close with me or is one of my friends. I too have been pregnant twice but miscarried both times within eight weeks of becoming pregnant. My friends say that my Will it is as strong as iron because they can't understand my control of my feelings. As it always seems that everyone around me is becoming pregnant, the one thing that I want.
It is hard to remind myself often, how God has a plan for me. It is frustrating yet rewarding to know that he is caring for me and making my path. Sometimes I feel like I am drowning in a sea of unknown... I like control and no surprises.
I think the main thing that I am trying to say, is that I'm just ready for something different. Something to change my frame of mind.
