Life Lost, hope regained!

It has been a while now since my loss. I have kept it to myself, not sharing with anyone who I don't consider family. On the early morning of June third, 2011, the day after school got out, I had this urge to take a pregnancy test. Side-note: I had already taken 2 the previous 2 weeks, both with negative results. As I waited for what seemed like an eternity, I was thinking about how I had just survived my first successful school year. When I looked over at the test I was expecting to see "NOT PREGNANT," but to my surprise I saw "PREGNANT!" I panicked, I had never had a positive result in three whole years. I went and woke Davin up, and started to cry. Later I called my doctor and had them confirm with the blood test...still at this time I was in doubt. Something did not feel right. That night we could not hold it in and told our whole family...
The next day Davin wanted to celebrate, so we went to Des Moines and visited Babies R Us. We spent some money... and then went out to eat. The next morning...I woke up with cramps and spotting. I tried to take it easy and not do much, but by that night the cramps had increased and so did the spotting. I finally caved and called the nurse. The doctor told me to go in in the morning and get my blood rechecked. With much deliberation I went in the next morning, and sure enough my levels had dropped...I was miscarrying. By then the cramps were so bad, I had to breath through some of them.
I called Davin in tears, he was so upset too. Then I called my mom, and she too started to cry. I could not take anymore. I had wanted that baby so bad...I texted everyone else, I could not talk anymore. As I drove home from the clinic, I had a lot of time to process what I was feeling. I came home and put on comfy clothes and fell asleep. I did not want to talk, I did not want to do anything. Davin came home shortly after that and tried to comfort me...
That night I lost everything I had hoped for and dreamed about. It has taken a while, but now I know that my body does work, and that I can get what I have always dreamed about. I pray everyday that God will see my wants, and bless Davin and I with a bundle of pure joy.